When life gives you...Caregiving

I would dare say no one signs up for this life. While many of us are military spouses or parents, we know well the worst case scenarios that might happen when our loved ones go off to war. But in reality, when the days, weeks, months, and years after the war and accidents have come and gone, many of us search for peace and joy in the smallest of things.

Maybe we didn't sign up for it, but we are Caregivers

We are the wives, mothers, children, spouses, friends, and more, who fill the gaps for our loved ones. We support them. We may be their eyes, ears, hands, companions, and chauffeurs. Often we wear the hat of cook and cleaner, master scheduler of the home, taxi driver for the kids, and accountant of our finances.

Life can suck us dry if we let it. Life throws hard punches and we fight back. How do we fight back? We advocate for our veteran...for the person we provide care for. We assist them in everything they need help with from dressing and dishing out medicine, to helping him or her be more independent.

So what can we do for ourselves when we feel like we are worn thin? We can take a long and steamy bath. Take a moment. Take two minutes to relax. Read a good book or sit outside and listen to the birds. Relish our cup of coffee with no interruptions.

Take Two

Today I can slice a lemon for my glass of water, savor the fresh, clean smell as I cut it, squeeze all the juice out that I can and add it to a pretty pitcher or glass. Enjoy it. Experience it. I could hastily run the tap quickly and guzzle a plastic cup full of aqua down, as I do frequently...or I can turn this everyday moment into a treat.

I can have my cup of coffee without interruption before everyone else wakes. I can bask in the almost 

silence around me. I can experience the warmness from my hands holding the cup, to the creamy liquid coursing down my throat as I enjoy the moment I am making for me....just me.

What's going on around you at this very moment?

Do you hear the dishwasher or the hum of the air conditioner? Do you hear chirping outside your window? Is the TV playing in a room close by? Is a child making noise or are cars zooming by within earshot?

Take a moment to ground yourself in the present. Be aware. Be mindful. Experience life and find some way to make the average extraordinary. Find a way to find peace and joy in your day....even if it only takes two minutes.

Thank you to Amanda Flener, Hope For The Warriors Volunteer for submitting this great blog! To read Amandas personal blog, head over to Our Flener Family Life.

Facebook Support Network for Military Caregivers

Hope for the Warriors is proud to announce that we have a fantastic online/secret/closed support network group on Facebook that caters to post 9/11 military caregivers. Here we discuss how to productively juggle every day life as a military caregiver. Our group is positive, encouraging and fun! Military Caregivers are encouraged to ask questions and to give tips to other caregivers as we navigate this life together. 

If you are a Military Caregiver and would like to join our group, please follow the instructions below.

*Be sure to write CAREGIVER SUPPORT in the reference box on the registration page.

After registering, you will receive an email with instructions on where to find our group. Hope to see you on Facebook! 

Much Love,

Patti Katter 

Attention Virginia Post 9/11 Military Caregivers!

On Tuesday, January 27, 2015; Hope for the Warriors will be hosting a Post 9/11 Military Caregiver Wellness Workshop at the Fort Belvoir USO Warrior and Family Center. During the workshop, we will be focusing on Self-Care and Mindful Practices for Military Caregivers. Activities include: Art Therapy, Applied Theater Experientials and Therapeutic Yoga.   

I'm very excited about this great opportunity for Military Caregivers. I am also very happy to say I will be participating in and speaking at this fantastic event. Please check out the flyer below for more information on how you as a Military Caregiver can participate in the Wellness Workshop.  

Resolution 2015: Find Myself & Enjoy Myself, A Caregivers Journey

2015... Holy Smokes 

It’s been almost eight years since my husband came home from war. Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday we were waiting at my husband’s various doctor appointments with kids in tow. I can close my eyes today and vividly picture the waiting room, the magazines, the nurses and the patients sitting next to us at appointments. I can still see the concerned faces of family members sitting next to their soldiers as we all waited together.  

"SGT Katter" a nurse would call out after opening the door that connected the waiting room to the nurses’ station where my husband would walk in, get weighed and have his blood pressure checked just before seeing the doctor.  

Sometimes, I wonder how eight years could have flown by so quickly. I wonder how my kids grew up so quickly and how I could already be 40 years old! How did I go from thin to chunky or from energetic to lethargic?  

On New Year’s Eve, I looked at myself closely in the mirror. I examined the fine lines around my eyes and my dulling skin. Don’t get me going on the white hairs popping out all around my hairline.  

In the past eight years, life has dished out quite a bit. Not only have I cared for my husband but my mother is also battling cancer. She has three to six months to live. My youngest daughter needs me to take her to doctor’s appointments. She has something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Our family moved to another state this summer forcing us into new schools, new doctors, a new church, and the list goes on. 

Not JUST a Caregiver 

I have learned, I'm not "JUST" a Caregiver to my husband. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I've decided that the year, 2015 will be my RESOLUTION year. Just exactly what is a resolution? I decided to look up the word resolution in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online.  

res·o·lu·tion 

 noun \ˌre-zə-ˈlü-shən\ 

: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something 

My Resolutions, What I Can Control 

I don't think I'll ever find an "answer" to why my husband was injured in war, or why good people were hurt and killed. I believe sometimes there just isn't an answer.  

However, I do have the answer to some things. How did I go from thin to chunky, how did I lose energy and how come I just didn't feel as good? I ate those extra calories. I sat on the couch more than I exercised. I started to get depressed; I started to let worries creep up on me. I was not proactive in my own health, yet I was submersing myself in everyone else's health. I forgot about myself, that I am the only one who can control my attitude, my outlook on life and my physical well-being.  

My 2015 resolution is to FIND MYSELF and ENJOY Myself. To find more ME time, do things I enjoy, smile more and laugh more. My resolution is not to lose weight, but to eat more healthy, to walk more, to LIVE more. The solution to solving my internal conflicts and outlook on life is to take life by the reigns and to stop looking back at the negative things that have happened, and focus on the positive things in life.  

Maybe you are a Caregiver reading this blog, or maybe you are a military veteran. Perhaps you are a parent or family member of a veteran, a civilian supporter of Hope For The Warriors. Whatever the case may be, whoever you are... instead of making a crazy New Year’s resolutions that you cannot control, I urge you to make tangible resolutions every day that will help you live a more happy life after war. We won't ever totally forget the effects of war, but we can be productive. You aren't alone in this life. We have each other. Once a military family, always a military family. There IS hope. Let's encourage each other, believe in each other and LIVE. 

Love, 

Patti K.  

PS - As for those little fine lines around my eyes and white hairs popping out from the roots of my head, I count those as little blessings along this journey we call life.