Family Reintegration Program--One Wife Shares Her Experience

Hope For The Warriors® has created the Family Reintegration Program with Holliswood Hospital in Queens, New York.  The Family Reintegration Program aims to, first and foremost, support wounded warriors and their families by engaging the warrior and their spouse/caregiver in a therapeutic experience that promotes family communication, recovery and resiliency.

Several family members have already attended the program and are experiencing the benefits at home and within their relationships.  One spouse shared her story below:

The Family Reintegration Program at Holliswood Hospital was a fantastic opportunity and one that I believe all families living with someone with PTSD/TBI should experience.  I participated in the program during my husband’s second stay at Holliswood. 

First Treatment

The first time my husband was a patient at Holliswood, I spoke to him often and he would tell me about how he was feeling.  However, I spoke to the counselors only twice during his 30-day stay and I didn’t really feel connected to his treatment.  It was still “his problem” and he was responsible for fixing it. 

Returning to Treatment

Nine months later, he was readmitted to Holliswood in the Military Wellness Program.  This time, my husband returned with a renewed sense of hope and commitment to getting well. 

Aynisa, the coordinator of the Military Wellness Program contacted me, to see if I was interested in accompanying my husband to his intake and then staying for a few extra days for the Family Reintegration Program.  All travel expenses would be covered by Hope For The Warriors®.  In addition, respite activities for the spouses would also be planned.  I enthusiastically accepted the invitation because I wanted to meet the people that would be treating my husband and have the opportunity to interact with other spouses and family members of wounded veterans.

"Living with someone with PTSD can be extremely isolating and lonely. People don’t understand why my husband doesn’t like to leave the house or has problems interacting with people in public or has extreme road rage at times.  I am too tired to always explain it, so it is easier to socialize with women who know how I feel."

Treatment for the Family

On the second day of the program, Aynisa provided a class to all of the spouses about PTSD, symptoms, and behaviors.  It was eye opening to hear that most of the veterans there experienced similar symptoms and behaved the same way.  It was comforting to know that I was not alone in my feelings about PTSD and the responsibilities that are associated with the injury.  During the program, I also had the opportunity to have two individual counseling sessions and two sessions with my husband. 

"I cried a lot because in the five years that we have dealt with my husband’s PTSD, I never felt that I could just release my sadness or frustration to someone that would understand and could help me deal with these feelings and learn to rebuild our life."

The Importance of Respite Activities
The respite activities provided by Hope For The Warriors® were great.  We visited areas of New York City and the outlying boroughs that I would not have known about if visiting alone.  The Hope For The Warriors® staff took us to dinner and to see the Broadway production of Mary Poppins.

 It was great to be able to go to dinner and to the theater without having to worry if my husband was going to be OK or determining where the closest exit or whether or not someone was going to irritate him. 

"It was an opportunity for me to enjoy my time without any other responsibilities.  It is an experience that I will forever be grateful to Hope For The Warriors®."

Home Again
Things now are by no means perfect.  My husband has really good days and bad days.  In the past, it always felt like bad days and really bad days. 

"My husband’s second stay at Holliswood was a new beginning for him and our marriage."

My husband finally accepted that he needs my help.  Whether it be to track his appointments, medications, or whatever he needs, he now knows that he can ask and doesn’t need to be ashamed.  He is committed to continuing his care with weekly therapy and staying current on his medications.  I don’t know if my husband will ever be out of the grips of PTSD, but after participating in the Military Wellness Program at Holliswood, he sees that there is hope and a future as long as he continues to work on his well-being and the well-being of our family.

Favorite Memory-Freedom in the Water

"Hope For The Warriors® brought 12 guys to Montgomery, Alabama a few years ago for the Bassmasters.  One day on the trip, we all went kayaking in the beautiful Coosa River.  Several of the warriors had challenges with their legs due to amputations, paralysis or other injuries. But in a kayak, each one of them had the same freedom of mobility.  All of our service members and veterans loved that kayak trip and despite the fact that they kept trying to tip us over, our staff had a great time too."

HOPE Week Honoree

HOPE is a word we use often within Hope For The Warriors®.  It is a part of our name and is included in our mission statement.  Hope drives our work and our goals.

Last week, the Morehead City Marlins Baseball Team hosted HOPE week.  For the team, HOPE stood for Helping Others Persevere and Excel and the team asked for nominees who would best represent HOPE in the community.

Paul Kelly was proud to nominate his wfie Sally for this honor.  Sally and Paul are long-time volunteers of our organization. Their support began in 2006 and together, they have done so much to help us grow.  They have been a great asset and great friends.

Sally's work with Hope For The Warriors® is not the only reason that she was honored on Saturday night at the Marlin's baseball field. However, we are very thankful that her good work was recognized.  Below is part of the application that was submitted. (Edited)

A Beacon of Hope

"A mother, wife, friend, volunteer, teacher, leader and more.  Sally is a true 'Beacon of Hope' to all who surround her.  Her hard work helped her to raise two successful and moral sons while still volunteering within her community.  Her greatest work now benefits our military communities—specifically wounded, their families, and families of the fallen.  Sally has given hope and helps to thousands and inspires others to join in this mission."

"The daughter of a WWII-Bronze Star-decorated soldier, she understands the sacrifices of the military and their families.  Since 2008, she has volunteered countless hours with Hope For the Warriors®, a national nonprofit organization that assists combat wounded service members and their families.  She has been recognized as one of the organization’s top volunteers."

"Sally and her husband Paul have raised more than $48,000 in donations in their fundraising campaign they call '2008 Miles of Hope.'  She has also been recognized by the organization for her leadership within her women’s group, Beta Sigma Phi International.  Within her chapter, she has been the kindling spark beneath the group’s service project, 'Carolinas’ Torch of Hope,' which has so far brought in over $25,000 in donations from chapters around the world to Hope For The Warriors®."

 

"Sometimes Sally is a Beacon of Hope, by simply supporting others.  She is often at Hope For The Warriors® events and races, cheering on the runners and volunteering to make the event a success.  She has cheered for her own husband through countless marathons and half marathons as he pushes through on his handcycle."

"In 2011, she was not content to be on the sidelines. Sally decided to 'go the extra mile' for our Nation’s wounded by running the Marine Corps Marathon with Team Hope For The Warriors®.  Sally finished a HIGHLY respectable 30^th in her age bracket in the largest amateur marathon in the world."

"Sally is truly a beacon of hope within our community.  Her tireless dedication to her community, her family, and above all, to the Nation’s wound heroes are an inspiration and example to all she meets."

Thank you to Sally for bringin HOPE to our nation's heroes and to Hope For The Warriors®.

5th Annual Winchester Memorial Poker Run

More than 20 years ago, a New York City Firefighter was sent to various fire departments out of the state to help train.  The man was Captain John Vigiano, Sr. and one of the men he trained was Dave Smith, a firefighter in Michigan.  The two became close friends and Dave eventually became friends with his sons, John Jr. and Joe, a firefighter with FDNY and a highly decorated member of the NYPD respectively.

John Vigiano enjoys his time with the Warthogs

On 9/11, John Jr. and Joe died when the towers collapsed.  Dave and other firefighters from Michigan made multiple trips to New York City to help with the search efforts.  It is a loss that still impacts him today.

Dave is the president of the Grand Rapids Warthogs Motorcycle Club.  The group created the Winchester Memorial Poker Run to remember and honor Mike "Chet" Winchester, a prospective chapter member who was killed in a motorcycle accident.  Dave turned to his close friends, John and Jan Vigiano for help in identifying a nonprofit that assisted combat wounded service members and their families.

The Vigianos are long time supporters of Hope For The Warriors®.  We thank them, Dave Smith, and all of the members of the Grand Rapids Warthogs M/C for their dedication to the men and women in our military and to their families.  More than $8,000 was raised leading up to and during this year's Poker Run.

Some of that money was raised through helmets that Dave designed and donated for the auction at this year's Got Heart, Give Hope® Gala and at the Poker Run.  The helmets are often signed by NASCAR drivers and are one-of-a-kind.

This past weekend, Hope For The Warriors® staff and the Vigianos themselves attended this 5th Annual Winchester Memorial Poker Run.  This year, Dave is retiring from the public service department of Grand Rapids and Hope For The Warriors® staff honored Dave for his years of service as well as his committment to wounded service members. The Vigianos also attended and clearly had a great time with this fun, patriotic group.

Hope For The Warriors® staff and supporters enjoy the morning

Along with the Warthogs, we thank everyone that attended, donated or supported this fundraising event.  This is the fourth year that Hope For The Warriors® has been the beneficiary and we are as thankful today as we were the first year.

Favorite Memory-A Return to the Race

"A single leg amputee joined us for last year's ASA Run For The Warriors® in October. He had been an unltramarathoner prior to his injury, and was known for his competitive drive and immense athletic ability. It didn't matter that it was raining and he was running on a new prosthetic. This veteran clearly loved the energy and excitement of a race and of competing again. He had to take it slow--the pavement was slippery--but he had a smile on his face for the entire distance and finished strong with the help of his best friend. That morning, I completely understood the positive impact of our races and Team Hope For The Warriors®."

Favorite Memory-A Walk to Remember

I was recently asked to fill out information about Hope For The Warriors® for a website that will highlight our organization. Among the usual questions I was asked "What is your favorite memory?" 

What a great question!

I have worked with the organization for more than two years and I have many great memories.  However, I am only one person and this organization is now six years old.  So I turned to the Hope For The Warriors® staff to get their feedback.  For the next several Fridays, instead of my usual "Friday's Photo" posting, I will share a favorite memory from various staff members.  I hope that these stories inspire you as much as these men and women have inspired each of us.

"One of my favorite memories was watching a service member complete his first 5K, post injury.  The family had been told that he would never walk or talk again.  But this Marine proved them all wrong."

We wrote about this young Marine and his father for this year's Father's Day post.

Rumble to the Rockies

$15,000, 5,000+ miles, 14 cities, 2 weeks, 5 motorcycles.  All for one cause.

Rumble to the Rockies Fundraising Page

View photos from the road!

At the end of July, five members of the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) will take off on a 2-week, 14-city, motorcycle ride in their effort to raise funds and awareness for Hope For The Warriors®.  Due to their hard work and the support of many, they expect to raise close to $15,000.

One of the men organizing the ride is Chris Walsh.  He is a member of the FDNY, a registered nurse in an emergency room, an Iraq veteran, husband, and father of four children.  Clearly this is a man with a great deal on his plate and yet, focusing on our nation’s veterans and military families is very important to him.

Chris was an officer in the Marine Corps from 1991 – 1995.  On 9/11, he had been working as a fire fighter for nine months.  In 2002, he received an offer to reactivate as a Marine.  With the memory of 9/11 forever fresh in his mind, he returned to the Marine Corps and soon after deployed to Iraq.

After he returned and was discharged, he and fellow fire fighters traveled to Washington, D.C. to visit wounded service members in the medical centers.  As he spoke with them, he listened to their stories, and learned what had happened to each of them.

He was speaking with a young Marine who had lost one of his legs in Iraq.  As this man shared the story of how he was injured, Chris realized that he knew exactly where this man had been hurt.

“The streets that I had been driving down (while in Iraq) were the same streets these guys were driving on when they were hit by an IED.  I was just lucky.”

That discovery gave Chris another reason to focus on helping these wounded service members.  In spite of his busy schedule, he knows that it could have been him wounded and in rehabilitation at the hospital.

The Crew

This crew of five have many years of service behind them.  Chris, along with Jay, Matt, John and Kevin have all worked as fire fighters.  Out of the five, four are still active in the FDNY.  The fifth has retired due to injuries incurred on 9/11.  All are dedicated to supporting wounded service members and military families.  They have worked hard to generate donations for Hope For The Warriors® as well as donations to cover their expenses. 

Travel Support

The group continues to receive donations for this trip.  They have free lodging for each stop along the way.  Donations for food and gas have also started to trickle in.  Their goal is for all of the funds to be donated directly to Hope For The Warriors®.

Walter Reed Family BBQ

The last stop before they return to New York City will be in Washington, D.C.  The group is joining Hope For The Warriors® for a BBQ at Walter Reed Military Medical Center.  Food and T-shirts will be provided by Café Rio.   T-shirts will also be provide by the Rumble to the Rockies group and Hope For The Warriors®.  The event will be a great way for wounded and their families to take a break from the rigors of rehabilitation. 

There is no doubt that this night will be important to Chris too.  He will once again talk to young wounded service members and understand from personal experience the challenges they faced during their deployments. 

Raising Funds

To raise funds for Hope For The Warriors®, the guys have sold more than 675 T-shirts.  They are also gearing up for one final huge fundraising party.  This Sunday, July 22, the group will hold a Fundraising Party at Bourbon Street of Monroe in Monroe, NY.  There will be live music, food specials, raffle prizes and more.  All of the proceeds will benefit Hope For The Warriors®.

If you are interested in supporting this group or would like to learn more, visit their fundraising page.  To contact Chris directly, email rumble2rockies@gmail.com.